How to Deal with Fall (Autumn)

There are some of us...who never have to deal with the four seasons. Four seasons to me growing up, was a pizza which our family liked because everyone got what they wanted. However, in this place called the Northern Hemisphere, the weather includes more then simply the rainy season and the sunny season.

Thus far, my thoughts on autumn are inconclusive. I don't quite know what I think but I don't like whatever it is. I'm used to continuous life; sunshine, grass, palm trees, colors and shades of life always sharing their joy with me. Flowers never die. The swimming pool is always welcome and the grass always needs cutting. Yes this sounds like an idealist seeing the world through rose-colored lenses but for years, this is my sense of reality; continuous sunshine.

Dropping back to United States in winter wasn't a problem. It was just an alternate reality. Spring was exciting, even magical as I saw the reality I know come back to me. Summer was a healing balm to my very soul. Now we have fall (autumn). I'm not sure what I think about that. Granted the sun still shines for the most part. Granted the leaves changing their colors is extraordinary, another alternate reality. But...I find myself grieving. There's a sense of finality about seasons. It's sad. Other's see the beautiful colors of fall. For me, it's like seeing everything I know and love...the trees, the warm weather, the weekend biking...die. I liked winter because of that foreign element, but I don't like getting there.

Right now, people around me hear my whinging about fall as I layer on more clothes then normal people consider normal. Perhaps fall will redeem itself as time progresses but as the chipper girl from Southern Africa...I may just whinge through it and on till next spring.

How to Know When a Place is Home

As the end of my third week of my last year in uni draws to a close, I contemplate, have I even done anything interesting? Tragically, I concluded that I haven't. Interesting and I have parted in such different directions that domestic-ed Americana thinks it has a shot at me. Perhaps I exaggerate (or do I?) but I acutely feel that life has become a pursuit of the minute and I lose track of the bigger and finer things of life. Why just today, I was enjoying a spin around Hburg on my bike...delighting in the sunshine...and whinging internally that I never got out on my bike because I have so much homework...and then I realized...I had actually taken a two hour ride the day before.

When you realize time is passing quickly, you realize you're beginning to feel at home. When faces you'd know vaguely before smile at you, you realize you're beginning to feel at home. When you know where to find the freshest fruit, when certain roads are busy, and especially once you've mastered the dress code...you realize that you're beginning to make a foreign environment your home. It's a universal truth that you don't have to love any one place as soon as you move there or for the following months. You don't have to be eternal committed to a place to make it "home." You just have to create a few routines, make a few friends and solemnly promise yourself you're going to try and not make an idiot of yourself learning local customs.

This is my country. This is where I'm supposed to belong. Even though my classmates look like me and speak with a similar accent, I'm still a global nomad who's picked Hburg as my foreign assignment. Like adapting to any new country, I've got though the hardest months and the humiliation of looking like a clueless idiot over and over again (and had to shudder past the hippy-eque dress code, just wasn't feeling it). This is the part where I start to enjoy my new posting. It might never be home, but like any foreign culture, it can feel almost like home...

How to Survive Your Last First Day of School

The first week of university is quite standard globally. We all encounter very similar sentiments. We all lose our nerve and question our constant inclination towards stupid decisions. Even though this is my last first-day-of-school, this was also my first day of school. I was taught at home...and then I had that stint with online uni....so I never formally showed up for a first day of school anywhere. (I'm a global nomad. Of course it doesn't make sense.) Because this is so novel, I will document my first week for future reference and to compare against other uni systems.

1) I panicked. One must always panic because...well I panicked because I'm taking 18 credit hours, ie. full time plus some. I've never taken seven classes before. Previously the most I ever did was six but this time I have math comp so I have extra reason to whinge endlessly. Nonetheless, like any former Zimbabwean resident you think to yourself..."gotta make a plan."

2) I panicked encore. I'm living in an apartment with two girls I knew as acquaintances before. I thought it would be great because they're social butterflies and I'm an academic hermit who needs physiologic help. Still, when you're family drives away headed back to Sudan and you're standing in the middle of Southern Virginia with your mountain of stuff...obviously...you really panic...and then you have a meltdown...and then...well...you suck it up and tell yourself like any true Zimbabwean..."I'm goin' to make a plan."

3) You panic still again. This time you get your course syllabus and you're shocked your profs have the audacity to think you've got thousands of hours to devote to their class alone. You quickly realize, you're going to have no life. It's a horrible feeling but still again, like any person who ever tolerated the Robert Mugabe regime, you remind yourself..."I need to make a plan."

4) You panic a final time. You realize, this is the last time you'll ever be a student. Sure post-grad is always an option but...if this is your last first-day-of-school...that means you're old! You think of all you've done, and all you haven't done. Your panic melts into melancholy and you remember those hideous clothes you wore in middle school (at least I do) and the boys you crushed as a high school fresher (gosh I was an idiot). You sigh and think of the good days and realize just how much a global nomad you are because you're still uttering comments such as..."I'll just make a plan..."