How to Drive like a Cambodia: Part 2

After continuing to observe traffic over the last few weeks, I realized just how much you can learn if you truly apply yourself. Dear readers are not encouraged to implement these actions in your country of origin. However, if you happen to visit the Kingdom, live in the Kingdom or have reflected on any abstract way on the Kingdom, expect to see these moves.



Car blocking: When you need to do a left-hand turn, position yourself behind a car. They will block for you and than you can quickly overtake them later. Do not immediately pass the car which is blocking for you as you could get hit.

Front Cutting: Say there is a traffic light with a significant amount of waiting traffic. It's considered acceptable to pull into oncoming traffic, drive on the other side of the double yellow line until you have reached the front of the line, preferably parked on the zebra crossing. (Recently cars started pulling this move which creates massive problems.) If traffic is really bad, than oncoming traffic won't be able to pass. Traffic reaches a gridlocked standstill where no one can move. This is extremely routine. The notion that collective waiting and taking turns might improve the situation is not there. You may also drive on all available sidewalks, anything getting you any advantage.

Cutting Stations: Say you want to do a right hand turn at an intersection and there is a petrol station on that corner. You may unquestionably cut through the gas station. Even if there is a green light, still cut through the petrol station. Even if there is a ramp especially for right hand turns, still cut through the petrol station.

Penn Left: If you are at a red stoplight and wish to turn left. You attentively watch the clock countdown. The moment it hits green, you zip out as fast as possible before the oncoming traffic reaches your side, bending sharply to provide room for those oncoming traffic to continue straight. I've heard this called "a Pennsylvania Left." [Someone somewhere hates Pennsylvania. I don't hate Pennsylvania.]

Traffic Packs: Suppose there is a heck of a lot of oncoming traffic preventing your crossing. You wait until several other cars and motos want to make the same move. Typically there is one daredevil moto who will lead the pack, setting the pace for the rest of the creeping motos. His success is based entirely on how successfully he taunts oncoming traffic to stop. Together, slowly, everyone starts moving forward in a pack, a few inches per second, until all oncoming traffic is forced to stop. This is how traffic functions in general especially when there aren't lights, the largest pack forcing their way forwards. When traffic from the other direction produces a larger pack, than they will force forward. This is a metaphor for life in Cambodia; stay in the pack, and you are safe and protected.

Arm Indication: If you're going to make a significant turn in traffic, it's common that your passenger will indicator the turn. This requires a full arm extension in the direction of the turn and a sharp up/down flapping from the wrist. Occasionally, a solo driver on the moto will make this indication (for left hand turns only, because the accelerator is controlled by your right hand). The arm indicator is no guarantee that you will be allowed to be turn, but a reduction in the probability of being hit.

Intersection Insanity: Say you're waiting on a red light. You see an opening in traffic. Hello! Take it, idiot! That red light is for...who knows who that's for... There is a direct correlation between this move and helmet-free drivers. 

Tenting Anguish: Side note, at bothersome times over the year, a fun traffic obstacle are the tents on the street for  weddings/funerals/parties with no notice to neighbors whatsoever. You must smile and then move on. I'm joking... suppress your rage. Cambodians deal with it in a culturally appropriate manner, they keep quiet, as is expected, rather than loosing face. As a foreigner, you're bound to similar standards, swallow it and move on. No one ever said it made sense.

This Post is for 2012

Moments from 2012 to welcome in 2013

If I had to summarize 2012 in one word, this would be easy. 2012 was brilliant. So many brilliant things occurred this year. Frankly, most of these adventures have already been chronicles in the web pages of this blog. But I need this experience, the experience of writing this post, to express my overwhelming gratitude. 2011 was rough. I knew little. I felt lost and confused. 2012 was a solid chunk of time. Many of my blessings were unexpected; an unexpected evening with friends, and unplanned night of board games, Avengers or Batman at the cinema, a new cheesecake restaurants and cafes, new children to whom I'm "Ming Grace," new books I've loved, new music I've danced to, and blog posts I've crafted. So many of my cherished moments were not crafted. They happen. And I'm eternally grateful. I had some brilliant adventures in new places and I've also learned a lot.

Adventures Had

1)   International New Year’s Eve Singapore: The glamorous lights on the glitzy Marina Bay where I prayed and wished for a glorious year.

2)   Bali: Temples, beaches, games, and food.

3)   A Southern Vietnam Driving Tour: 40 hours in a bus over four days? Check! Also flowers in the shape of the Vietnamese flag.

4)   Koh Thmei, KYN 2012: Laying in the sand, watching boats, reading books with friends.

5)   USA 2012: Family/Jon, bikes, Target…in that order.

6)   Sihanouk’s Death: Learning how much I don’t know about Cambodia.

7)   Chiang Mai Thailand: Lanterns and food, paradise.

Lessons Learned

8)   Wake up every day with gratitude

9)   Ask the fundamental questions: “how would you do this?” “tell me what do you think?” “can you explain this to me a little bit better?”

10)   Ask for help when you need it.

I have two goals for 2013…to get a new job…and to move somewhere I have never lived before. I’ve lived in a mere nine countries and six states...that leave literally 75% of the earth left to work with (and yeah, I would totally take North Korea or Iran if offered, who wouldn’t!). An unofficial goal is to visit two new countries and get that number up to 30, but we shall see. It does seem quite likely. A final goal? Keep my eyes wide open for unexpected joys and unexpected lessons.

How to Drive like a Cambodian: Part 1

An average day in the Kingdom...

Over the past few months, the Kingdom's traffic has become awful. In August 2012, I started to notice my errands taking longer and longer. Around September 2012 a Cambodia Daily report shared that tens of thousands of new motos and thousands of cars have been added to the roads over the last year. The number of roads is static, road quality is not (that is decreasing). Many sections of town are getting some sort of new underground piping system, so numerous roads are out of commission, leading to greater congestion.

To cope in this increasingly dog-eat-dog, you must fully commit to Khmer road moves. Originally, I thought this would be one post. Yet as I continued to reflect, observe and process my growing intolerance towards fellow drivers, I concluded this would have to be a two-part series. There are just too many bad driving decisions one can make in the Kingdom. I keep observing new ways to break the law and bother everyone else. Much frustration comes from the sentiment that I am already driving on the edge of reckless (sometimes, just sometimes), so why do I feel like I'm constantly loosing? But if anything, life is not fair, and I must stomach my pride.

For the record, we drive on the right side of the road in the Kingdom (former French colony).

Keep Moving: As a general moto driving rule, you don't want to stop. The goal is to constantly move forward. Preferably, no one else has to stop either. As a result, you weave around everything, slowing down, but not stopping unless it's completely necessary.

Wrong Sides: Suppose that you just can't get across the road because there is so much oncoming traffic. Rather than wait patiently, you may start driving slowly, against traffic, very close to the curb, on the wrong side of the road. You may thus creep slowly until an opening in traffic when you quickly pull into the correct lane at full speed. (Oddly enough, this is one of the few times that people will use their indicators, demonstrating they are trying to cross, as if justifying the sin). Often people will start by creeping on the wrong side, right out of the gate.

Sightless Rights: If you need to turn right, don't bother checking for oncoming traffic. Mysteriously, no one ever looks, ever. Just pull right and pray that other drivers will swerve to accommodate you.

Double Lefties: Say you reach a T-intersection and need to turn left. Don't sit in the middle of the road and try to turn. Get to the furthest left possible so that you're smack in the path of anyone turning right.

Passing Effectively: Careful drivers pass on the right. Aggressive drivers pass on the left, swerving into oncoming traffic. Idiots weave through traffic while conducting a combination of both. Pass for everything going a fraction of a half-second slower than you. You will encounter interesting combinations; ex. truck is passing car which is passing moto which is passing tuk tuk which is avoiding pothole. By that point, there's no lane for oncoming traffic which presents other problems.

Placement Particulars: As a general rule cars drive on the left close to the median and motos drive on the right by the curb. Bikes stay as close to the curb as possible.

Lexus>Cars>Motos>tuktuks>bikes>people: This is the social order. Often cars and Lexus will drive down the center of the road honking all the way, expecting the wave of motos to open like a sea before them. This will frequently occur and motos will move. I feel obligated to drive slow in front of a honking car because though it's perhaps old-fashioned, but I still think public roads are for the entire public.

Defensive Horns: As a general rule, a moto will use one's horn in a friendly manner, I'm here, don't hit me. Rarely is it used as an expression of anger. The car will use the horn with entitlement, I'm here, so MOVE! I must admit that I try to use mine for public shaming. I can't say that it's working.

How Christmas Unites Us

Time for the annual "Christmas unites us" post. What words of wisdom or words of semi-sarcasm will I speak this year?

Uhh...

....hmm

well...

Apparently after a few moments of reflection, none.

What I do have is profound gratitude for a wonderful Christmas season. I'm thankful for the advent celebrations. I'm thankful for the utterly tacky multicolored, migraine-induing blinking Christmas lights we put on our utterly homely office Christmas tree (when in Asia...). I'm thankful for the InterCon Christmas fair where over 40 vendors of artisan and fair trade crafts brought in a major cash haul from the Phnom Penh expat community, myself included. I'm thankful for the candy canes which can be purchased at Lucky Supermarket, an added Christmas cheer to a miserably hot climate. I'm thankful for Christmas carols and frosted sugar cookies at my work Christmas party. I am thankful for the crazy gift exchange at my partner organization.

Most of all, I'm thankful for my friends. They have shared their Christmas joy with me. They have shared their parties. They have let me enjoy their Christmas trees (I'm so lazy). They have made a family for me while my own is far away. I'm grateful for the people who are so skilled at making Christmas a time where people are united and I aspire to be like them.

I will remember Christmas 2012 as a fine season filled with ever so much food, ever so many friends, and ever so many tacky Christmas decorations popping up throughout this Buddhist country.

This Post is for the Fowlers

There have been many influential people who has passed through my life in the last 26 months, but few have been as influential as my colleagues Ryan and Daphne.

One of the more pleasant discoveries upon arrival in is that with few exceptions, the vast majority of the team had arrived in-country within a 10-month time frame. This meant that all of our three-year terms had substantial overlap which for me, has been a meaningful joy-filled experience. I have valued and enjoyed everyone for so many different reasons. So with Ryan and Daphne's departure, the social fabric of the team will soon unravel, and the dominoes of departures will soon begin to fall. Life as I know it has begun to change.

But a brief interlude for nostalgia's sake. I learned a lot from Ryan and Daphne. I learned about hospitality as they are some of the most gracious people I've ever met. I was always delighted to visit their country-side posting of Prey Veng where you were wonderfully fed, and probably had the chance to do some form of crafts. I learned a lot about linking faith with our practice, and thinking reflectively about out impact on the areas where we're serving. I learned about graciousness in transitions. I got to befriend Maya, a super cute baby that I miss already. Finally, I will always remember the night bus from Luang Prabang to Vientiane were we were out cold for most the night on motion sickness/sleeping meds, then wandered around Vientiane like the walking dead trying to find coffee and new shoes for Daphne. Moments like these become adventures and memories you keep.

Who knows where we shall meet again, but the world is small. I'm grateful we had the opportunity to cross paths, and I look forward to seeing how Maya grows up.

How to visit Chiang Mai

My reason for choosing a Chiang Mai holiday were very unscientific. I read an article in an in-flight magazine. I heard there were mountains. I love Thai food. I live very close, relatively speaking. Thus, an irrational and instant attachment was formed to the idea. I must travel to Chiang Mai.

I choose one of the most inexpensive methods to achieve my goal; sale tickets on a budget airline to Bangkok, followed by an overnight train to Chiang Mai. Overnight is a stretch...more like overnight and half a day, but you arrive, tired and hungry, but alive and well and happy not to repeat the trip back home for a good five days.

Chiang Mai holidays occurred with my dear friend Kelly, Assuie and a fellow Phnom Penher. We are friends because she loves adventures like myself. Kelly was later joined by her cousin Dave. As a trio, we set out on our adventures, constantly whining paradoxically that nothing is as good as in Phnom Penh, and everything is so much better that Phnom Penh. We maintain that Thai tuk tuks are terrible. On this point, Cambodia excels. 

In short, while it’s still Asia, I loved Chiang Mai. It was the perfect respite after a few too many difficult weeks at work. It’s a place you go to relax, to shop, to enjoy a slightly cooler climate, to eat, and to have an adventure.

Mountains: Chiang Mai did not disappoint on its main draw. There are hills and they are green and lush. Coming from flat arid Cambodia, it was soul-reviving. One day we even ventured up the mountains and enjoyed the views and the breezes, praising the preservation of nature and wishing to never return home.

Markets: Chiang Mai has plenty of shopping! There are night markets, Saturday markets, Sunday markets and then the shops. Everything comes alive at night in a colorfully and lively display of life. Many of the products and crafts we saw were uniquely different to others spotted around Southeast Asia, and we enjoyed the creations from a vibrant arts scene. We stayed out very late at markets, a treat when everything shuts in Cambodia at 7pm.

Food: Thai food is amazing. I went to Thailand for my favorite food in the world, Thai green curry. A lasting impression of Chiang Mai was the food scene as well as how cheap it is! There is an abundance of tasty and tantalizing street food. We also did the rounds of Subway and Starbucks, because we could. We went hours in cute cafes with our books with our smoothies and coffees.

Temples: Chiang Mai is famous for its beautiful temples with the intricate gold eves like gingerbread houses, brass bells, and gold domes and umbrellas. We made it one day to the famous Doi Suthup temple located slightly outside town in the trees and hills. Artistically, Thai temples have done very well.

Motos: A new favorite activity when traveling is to rent our own mode of transport. Kels and I rented motos one day and drove around down and through the hills. I do begrudge Kelly for making me do a u-turn on a highway, and for driving on that highway in the first place. At least I can now say I have driven a moto on a highway. We also spent a long time convincing the rental people that “I drive one just like this in Cambodia! I know how to drive!” A short road test eventually proved our point and we were vindicated. 

Tesco: Tesco is basically Wal-Mart. This is the reason we ended up on a Thai highway, to find Tesco. Wandering through a warehouse like store, spotlessly clean, almost every product you could want…a small reminder what America and Australia are like...imagine our jaws mopping the floor in overwhelming awe.

Lanterns: I chose to visit Chiang Mai late November because it fell over a three-day Cambodian holiday granting the maximum time off. This amazingly coincided with the Thai “Festival of Lights.” Paper lanterns are lit with candles and floated into the night sky by the thousands with accompanying fireworks. It was magical and something I know which I’ll never forget. We even launched some of our own.  

Tigers: Kelly wanted to pet a tiger, and because I couldn’t think of a good reason why not to (I’ve done way worse), I did too. And so we went to pet massive tigers. They were quiet and didn’t mind us, though clearly we were extremely careful not to upset thing.

Drunk French tourists: On the train back, we ventured into the dining car where we encountered multiple drunk French tourist dancing down the middle of the car to the Macarena and Mambo #5 which was blaring loud enough to wake the entire countryside and so loud we could barely place our drink orders. That was worth every cent of the train fare. 

How to Plan a Conference (Peace Conference Round 1)

[Some of my favorite from the conference ]

One of my November highlights was a conference that I was involved in planning. Last year, we received special funding for a three-year conference series on peace mainstreaming. Not everyone or every organization has the good fortune of being directly involved in peacebuilding in their work. However, we can all use these values is our everyday work and lives. And so, mid-November, we kicked off our first in the series of three. We had two main goals, help out partners build a small knowledge of peace, and secondly to better know each other. 

It was a huge success. Cambodians are huge fans of going away for conferences, and so in keeping with this exception we went to Kep, a sleepy little seaside town, famous for its tasty seafood and laid-back vibe. We invited all our 14 partners to sent two representatives, bringing in a total of around 30 participants. We had an oddly diverse group of individuals representing the oddest collection of sectors: rural agriculture  education, youth sports, handicrafts, and peace. We also had two Buddhist monks from a new education partner, a first for us in recent years. It was very rewarding to watch the participants become more comfortable with each other over the 3 days, even though they were coming from such very different work sectors.

Something which greatly excited me was that the entire event was entirely in the Khmer language. I don't speak Khmer, so I didn't understand the content, but it's not about me. So often, in Cambodia, training and workshops are held in English, which limits who can attend and the depth of the content covered. From the beginning, we wanted this to be in Khmer so participants (particularly those from the rural provinces) could feel comfortable speaking their native language and build relationships with representatives from other Cambodian organizations.

My partner Peace Bridges came off as the superstar. The director Mony (who I have the pleasure of working with) facilitated. I was immensely proud of this, and honored that he saw it as way to give back. Over the last 10 years, Mony has developed into an extremely skilled facilitator. We covered responses to conflict, human needs theory, and nonviolent communication which was new to most participants and they loved the games and interactive learning experience. 

Some highlights of the conference included:

• Eating plenty of seafood, especially crab. (Before returning, we stopped at the local crab market so people could purchase crab to bring back to their families. This only took two hours, but the fish goes from the ocean, cooked, and in a cooler box within that time frame.)
• Playing games on the beach and swimming in the ocean. We played one game just for fun and one team-building game for which we had a massive crowd of spectators watching us. This was followed by ocean swimming.
• Breakfast and tea time by the ocean every morning. We were very fortunate to find a lovely hotel right on the ocean willing to accommodate our noise.

You know a conference has been successful when the participants later “friend” each other on Facebook.  It’s the way we do business these days. I look forwards to the second conference this upcoming summer. Because when people are meeting and talking and sharing stories, sometimes it honestly feels like being here, and those hours and hours of frustrating reporting might actually be worth it.