How to Carry a French Baguette

Rose in front of Massy's finest Boulangerie

If you are interested in purchasing a French baguette (also know as a stick of bread), you should visit a boulangerie. Often a patisserie will carry a good baguette, but these shops specialize in pastries and other delectable confectionery. You can often get a baguette in a large grocery store but that's like...well...they're often very hard and since a baguette by definition is already hard...you get the picture.

After entering a boulangerie, you must first admire the gorgeous pastries, fresh breads and expensive chocolates. You may even have to wait in line with the locals also getting their meal-y bread. (I can't say daily bread because a baguette must be purchased each meal. They don't keep from morning to evening without becoming rocks.) You will lay the equivalent of $1 in change on the counter and trying your humble French meekly ask, "Une baguette, s'il vous plait."

If the woman in the shop likes you, she will give you your one baguette. If she sizes you up and judges you a tourist (as is often my story) she will correct your pronunciation. "UNE BAG-e-T! C'est une BAG-e-T!" She might even correct your article. "It's not UN baguette! It's UNE baguette. It's feminine you foreigner!" You will stand stupidly while everyone in the shop listens to your little grammar lesson then hurry outside with your purchase.

Then comes the difficult part. How does one carry a one's purchased French baguette? Under one's armpit like in kids picture books? In one's hand like a teenager? Cramming it into one's shopping trolley? Shove it into one's purse? On one's head Africa style?

I've clenched a baguette so tight it broke in haft. I've swung it around and broke it on a wall. I've eaten it on the street and strewn crumbs all over public property. But it's impossible not to enjoy it, once you decide how you want to transport it.