How to Ride the Metro

I find the metro one of the most exciting places in all of Paris. It's always smelly, normally decently clean (as opposed to filthy) but it's still such an adventure. One travels down into the "under-life" (as opposed to the "above" life), through a maze of tunnels and pops up at his destination as if it was magic.

There are a few simple things that are wise to remember when taking the Paris metro to avoid being spotted as a tourist. Rule Number 1, don't speak loudly. I used to talk extremely loudly in the train, until I realized I was the only one doing it and other passangers were smothering me in looks of disgust.

Rule Number 2, you need a ticket or you can't get through the turnstiles. If your going into the suburbs like where I live you need a slightly different ticket which costs more because of the further distance. If you want to stay inside the greater Paris area, fork over around $1.6 in euros which is relatively decent.

Rule Number 3 is an unspoken rule; you mustn't speak to anyone. You must stare at the floor, read a book, listen to your i pod, anything but look or speak to other people (unless it's your boyfriend with whom you are liberally allowed to make-out). Your also supposed to give up your seat to the elderly but I've only seen that happen once or twice.

Another lesson I learned was push the button on the door when you want to get off the train. Otherwise, the door does not open and you'll go on down the line and end up who knows where. Don't be a tourist, push the button!