How to Ride the DC Public Transit System

Riding public transport is currently the rage for several reasons. 1) It's now more economical. 2) it's now more environmentally friendly (because before, it just wasn't), and 3) it's simply easier. I've historically gone to great lengths to express my unflinching support of public transit. I've spent a good deal of my time whinging that America needs more trains (and my college town needs a bus system that runs more then every hour). So imagine my unspeakable joy arriving in DC and once again being united with the power to achieve great things...via the metro.

Four days after I arrived in DC and my first day of work, there was a massive metro accident at 5pm rush hour right outside my home station of Takoma. I opted out of the metro because the whole system was utterly screwed up. So after pouring over bus maps and getting turned around, getting somewhat lost, and being on many occasionally embarrassingly late to work, I believe to have discovered...the tricks of the trade.

1. Get to the bus stop early. The bus is never on time. Mostly, it's late. But then again it could be early. You never know. You have to guess. And most importantly, you have to be early.


2. You must have a SmartTrip card. The flat bus fare is $1.25 with free transfers for up to three hours. Or you can pay cash every ride for $1.35. It's almost always cheaper then the metro. Metro increases it's fares during rush hours by almost a third so it does add up. On the weekend "regular hours," I take the metro but only if I don't plan on any transfers within a three hour period.


3. You must be pushy. People in DC are incredibly pushy and rude. I confess I was shocked when a woman cut me off the first time. I'd let elderly people, or small children go before me (duh!) but to have a rotund women several inches shorter then me in perfectly decent health practically kills in order to board the bus before me...crass. People for all their pushy-ness, typically give up their seats for the elderly and handicap...sometimes children.


4. You must remember the importance of gender sensitivity. Men sit next to men. Women sit next to women. It's just how it goes. However, (like in the French language) exceptions always exist during rush hours. Typically people will stand rather than sit next to someone of the opposite gender and causing discomfort.


5. You must pretend to be busy. The phone rules (I mean the Blackberry). You may do whatever you wish with your phone, texting preferred, loud talking forbidden. On the metro, people read the newspaper. On the bus, they read a novel, or "The Express," or listen to their mp3 devise. Don't speak to anyone, even if you're traveling with someone. Except children. Apparently you're allowed to scream at your child.