I learned something in the months after I graduated uni. In college, being single means you're not in a relationship. In the real world, single refers to your marital status. So I was always single in college and I'm still single in the real world. In both situations, the term is not exactly used complimentary, therefore, years into this dilemma, I'm still perplexed as to it's utility.
It didn't bother me being "single" (in the real world sense) while living overseas until people started asking me if it "bothers" me being single. Being bothered about what bothers me is far more bothersome then being actually bothered by something. I must admit, it blindsided me. I didn't realize it was acceptable to directly ask people if they like being unmarried. The short answer to this bothersome question is "uh...well I chose to come here...and I'm here." I have been known to say the following: "Statistically speaking, the average childless middle-class college-educated American woman marries at 29. I'm on the better end of the feminist movement."
So what bothers me about "singleness" overseas? Difficult question. It's like being asked how I feel about not being blonde. Well...I've never been blonde. Based on my years overseas, I know that often young adults think marriage is the answer to many overseas problems. "It would just be so much easier living overseas if I was married." I've heard this countless times. Strangeness is easier with someone else and life is better when you're not alone. You have someone else to count on in culturally-shocking circumstances, someone to help you quantify and qualify your strange life in it's complexities. Someone else between you and the over-sized stranger the next airline seat over.
I can empathize with the point of view because I've been in plenty of awkward situations by myself I dreadfully wish had never occurred. My personal opinion is this, humans are designed to be in a variety of close relationships (family, friends, spouses, mentors), but we are complete people. Living alone in Southeast Asia thus far has honestly been good for me. It's forced me to go forth and conquer, to stand up for myself, to be self-reliant and self-aware, to consciously go out and make friends, and finally, to read a lot of great books. I have my special people and they look out for me, and I look out for them. It's not easy facing strange things by yourself, but you push through it. This is life, and life rarely comes with shortcuts.
To not love where you are is to make yourself miserable. It's to throw your life back at the universe or back at God and scream, "you suck and you screwed up." What's the point of that? You scream, and then pick yourself back up and address the root causes of those emotions... insecurity...fear...loneliness. The idea that you can't be content how you are, where you are, the size you are, and with your natural hair color, is really quite archaic. Such is life, such is how the cards fell, such is the divine plan...so I find contentment.
It didn't bother me being "single" (in the real world sense) while living overseas until people started asking me if it "bothers" me being single. Being bothered about what bothers me is far more bothersome then being actually bothered by something. I must admit, it blindsided me. I didn't realize it was acceptable to directly ask people if they like being unmarried. The short answer to this bothersome question is "uh...well I chose to come here...and I'm here." I have been known to say the following: "Statistically speaking, the average childless middle-class college-educated American woman marries at 29. I'm on the better end of the feminist movement."
So what bothers me about "singleness" overseas? Difficult question. It's like being asked how I feel about not being blonde. Well...I've never been blonde. Based on my years overseas, I know that often young adults think marriage is the answer to many overseas problems. "It would just be so much easier living overseas if I was married." I've heard this countless times. Strangeness is easier with someone else and life is better when you're not alone. You have someone else to count on in culturally-shocking circumstances, someone to help you quantify and qualify your strange life in it's complexities. Someone else between you and the over-sized stranger the next airline seat over.
I can empathize with the point of view because I've been in plenty of awkward situations by myself I dreadfully wish had never occurred. My personal opinion is this, humans are designed to be in a variety of close relationships (family, friends, spouses, mentors), but we are complete people. Living alone in Southeast Asia thus far has honestly been good for me. It's forced me to go forth and conquer, to stand up for myself, to be self-reliant and self-aware, to consciously go out and make friends, and finally, to read a lot of great books. I have my special people and they look out for me, and I look out for them. It's not easy facing strange things by yourself, but you push through it. This is life, and life rarely comes with shortcuts.
To not love where you are is to make yourself miserable. It's to throw your life back at the universe or back at God and scream, "you suck and you screwed up." What's the point of that? You scream, and then pick yourself back up and address the root causes of those emotions... insecurity...fear...loneliness. The idea that you can't be content how you are, where you are, the size you are, and with your natural hair color, is really quite archaic. Such is life, such is how the cards fell, such is the divine plan...so I find contentment.
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