It's almost a struggle to write about this experience. It was short and anti-climatic and I felt out of place for most of it. However, because weddings are universally interesting, I share pieces of this experience.
In the morning is a ceremony. I did not go the ceremony. It was at 7am, and after the invitation debacle, I wasn't going to push it (I was promised an invitation but didn't get one, cross-cultural confusion). The ceremony is fairly standard. The groom with his family and friends parade up to the bride's house two-by-two with plates of fruit as an offering/dowry. They are invited in and the family will quiz the groom and the bride to be sure it's a good match (it's an amicable formality)...and they are pronounced married.
In the evening is the party. Everyone is invited. Absolutely everyone. Guests bring the standard $20 in the envelop that your invitation came in. This is supposedly to cover the costs the the party, food, band, venue, etc. Someone takes the money and writes down exactly who it's from and how much they gave. This is very important. When someone from your family gets married, it must be appropriately returned. Therefore, if I gave $40, this couple would be morally bound to give $40 at my wedding. This is so very important, and if you weren't going to return (or raise it), you might as well not come to my wedding (but if you didn't come, you would lose face). Alas, no one said social rules were easy.
Women are expected to dress up like it's the the red carpet at the Oscars; hair, hair extensions, stage-make up, nail extensions, sparking heels, and vibrant colors. Maybe half the women wear the traditional skirt and shirt, which is very sparkly. The other half wear more Western "prom" dresses. Men can wear anything they want, preferably not not polos, but I did see a few polos. In keeping with half the expectations set forth, I went around the block to get my hair and nails done...but I did wear a very Western dress. I don't anticipate dressing up any more then this, for the rest of my life.
This wedding was at a restaurant, so after shaking the couple's hand at the entrance, I went up to the hall. Each table seated 10 people and the drinks were already on the table (pepsi, tonic water, Angkor beer). When a table was full, food would come. When the food was finished (this food did exceed my expectations, in all honesty), you could mingle or they could leave. The single most notable feature of all Khmer weddings is the alcohol. This is how it is. This wedding was absolutely no exception. It's a party. The beer will flow without ceasing, without judgement, and without moderation.
At the end of the day, sitting in a giant hall alone with 375 people who don't speak much English and are greatly enjoying the local beer and whiskey mixed with tonic water and ice chunks....isn't really my thing. Maybe if I hadn't gone alone (I think I was allowed a plus one, but another point of confusion). Maybe if I had been more committed to the whiskey mixed with tonic water and ice chunks. Maybe...if I was Khmer. After about three hours and feeling very white and out of place, I left early. I did miss the dancing which I regret (moving slowly around a potted plant while your fingers flex in a circular motion...done it before). Alas, but I also had an invite to Thanksgiving dinner after-party so that was the next stop in this eventful evening.
At least I kicked two things off the bucket list that night. 1) Attending a wedding. 2) Riding side-saddle on a moto taxi. For this reason, the evening was successful.
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