How to Enjoy 36 hours in Kampong Som

Every year, I'm given the pleasure of two annual retreats. The first is the national retreat which includes all the national staff and their families. The second is the regional retreat, and previously included the program staff across Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos, rotating among the three countries. The former took place last weekend, with over 50 people traveling down to Kampong Som, staff and family members.

Kampong Som (featured in several other earlier posts, also known as Sihanoukville), is five hours south by bus. The idea of an overnight trip was initially repulsive. However, at it's conclusion, it was rather enjoyable!

Cambodians and expats have very different ideas about the beach. This is manifested in four primary ways.

First, Cambodians only swim fully clothed; denim or khaki shorts, t-shirt, jeans, and even a hat. Cambodians have an uncomplicated view on swimsuits; "you're wearing underwear in public." Needless to say, because we know this view and because we're trying to be sensitive, we wear a t-shirt and athletic shorts, over our swimsuits. 

Second, swimming fully clothed ties into another Cambodian value, white skin. Beauty and desirability are connected strongly to fair skin, and women will go to great length to whiten their skin. This is extremely obvious at the beach where there are "pavilions" with tables for the Cambodians to sit in the shade, and the normal sun lounge/beds for the expats. The two values coincide no more apparent than on same strip of land alongside the ocean. Cambodians would never lay in the sun. Expats would never come to the beach in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.

Third, another common Cambodian beach value is the acquisition of food from the market. This market is a 10 minute moto/tuk tuk ride away, and inevitably Cambodians will bring food from the market to eat on the beach. The expats would prefer to just buy food at the beach. The price is almost identical, but this is how it must be done.

A final prominent difference is travel to a vacation destination. As expats, we climb on the bus and expect to make one bathroom break, and arrive at our destination as fast as possible. Cambodians enjoy making frequent stops on the way; stop for breakfast 45 minutes after departure, stop for snacks 45 minutes after that, stop 45 minutes after snacks for the toilet, stop another 45 minutes after that for lunch... The journey is part of the adventure and it's an infinitely social experience. For expats, it's maddening.

Our values are quite apparent in how we all perceive the same retreat experience. The emphasis is relationship-building and spending time with each other. But with such prominent language and cultural barriers, beyond the silly ones mentioned above, friendships require far more time and effort. It doesn't fit neatly into a 36-hour retreat. It takes a whole lot more time.