How People Leave

The time we go on holidays together.

I often found myself using the metaphor of "merry-go-rounds" or carousels. I used this metaphor regularly back in 2008 and I still use it today. Funny thing is, I never much went to amusement parks or rode the rides. But there is something about the carousel that routinely and perfectly captures the moment. Such as the moment right now of farewells. 

The hardest part of living overseas is the goodbyes. A massive blessing in this life if the easy ability to form very meaningful friendships very quickly. I've made lasting and rich friendships with the most unexpected people within weeks or months. But then, people leave. When you're already flying solo without your family, it can sting more than expected.

Cambodia has been a beautiful and positive experience for me almost solely because of the people I've met. I like Cambodia itself, but I love the people I've met here who took an "interesting experience" and made it fantastic. There is nothing that makes you feel more at home than to text people on a week night and plan an impromptu activity. There is nothing quite so special as your weekly book clubs, monthly breakfast clubs, oddly themed birthday parties, game night marathons, musical themed evenings with accompanying films, and a never ending lunches. There are the joys of planning a holiday, and the even greater joys of going on the holidays. 

I have so many people to appreciate I don't know where to begin. I can only say thank you. Thanks for listening to me when I was upset, for loyalties in changing situations, and for letting me into your own fascinating world. 

My social world has been slowing falling apart for some time now. The people I like are slowly trickling out, one at a time. It can be an emotional wreck as you spend time with people; knowing they are leaving soon and knowing you won't see them in a while builds the pressure to make every moment meaningful. Than they go. And you wake up, wish they were around, and somehow just keep swimming. I've done this many times already for Cambodia, and will continue to do it as people trickle out.

I think I like merry-go-rounds because they are nonlinear. Though I'm a largely logical rational person who likes moving from Point-A to Point-B, our world is neither rational nor organized. Especially with relationships, things rarely move in stright linear lines but that's what can make them so fantastic. I will see Cambodia people again because the world is small and I'm hopeful. But for now, it's a little sad not to have them in my day-to-day life.

"On this broken merry go 'round and 'round and 'round we go

Where it stops nobody knows and it ain't slowin' down.

This merry go 'round." -KM