Thursday, March 3, 2011

How To Travel in Phnom Penh

There are endlessly amusing facets of transport in Phnom Penh. Soon enough, they can become annoying because you’re just as serious about transport as anyone else here. But still, there are several elements here that would not be observed in other contexts, which—just like the Pakistani “jingle trucks”—make Cambodia ever so unique. I have a 20 minute commute along a fairly busy road everyday. This affords massive amusement on a daily basis.

Off-Roading: This routinely occurs. In the event that traffic is gridlocked or waiting a stoplight, it’s perfectly acceptable to drive on the sidewalk, through gravel, through patches of nonexistent grass or any available space an object does not exist in order speed up your trip. Yesterday, I drove thorugh a construction site to get around hairball gridlock. I was hardly the only one. This will inevitably create a bigger hairball, but driving lesson number one: no one cares! Be aggressive or have aggressiveness done to you. Just don't get mad. That's an unattractive Western quality.

Stuff on Motos: If only I could create a list of all the strange things I’ve seen on motos. This week it was an entire queen sized mattress. I also saw about eight live chickens hanging by their feet off the side of another moto with more in a cage on the back. Four people on a moto isn’t uncommon either. However, legally you’re only allowed two and legally, only the driver needs to wear a helmet. Typically there are so many vegetables hanging off the back, the front, and the sides, sometimes with a tiny Asian woman just barely sitting on the back of all of it, that it’s a mystery the driver can balance. My theory is they pack it all on while he’s sitting on his moto and unload with him wedged in there.

Moto Flirting: This is an amusing almost cultural quirk. Public displays of affection are completely non-culture. Except on a moto, and then you’re allowed you snuggle really close, unnecessarily close, downrightly disgustingly close. You totally don’t need to hold on when top speed is 40kph—I don’t!--much less hang on like the Titanic is sinking. On the back of a moto, no PDA rules apply so people go for it, really go for it. It’s also very common for young people to drive motos next to each other and chit-chat (“moto flirt” as a coworker describes it). The only people who don’t think it’s cute, are the people behind who are trying to pass them.

Bikers: I still don’t understand why bikers don’t die. I am a biker. That is the essence of the Americana me. But not a chance in Phnom Penh. Bikers are at the bottom, the very bottom of the totem pole. Sometimes I even shove around them myself. Yet in the end, the persecuted biker is remarkably resilient and they just keep going, even while everyone else disrespects them, honks at them, and cuts razor close.

Body Coverings: Cambodians prize “white skin.” No one wants to be dark or tan because that’s “ugly.” So girls will completely cover up to insure no tanning while driving. This includes: floppy hats, gloves, long skirts, wearing multicoloured knee socks on with multicoloured flip-flops, wearing jackets on backwards, and often a mask over one’s face. It’s also between 88F and 95F degrees everyday. Beauty has always come at a high cost.

No comments: