How to Live in Community

I had four completely different yet memorable college living experiences. First, I lived in a suite on a freshmen girls hall. I had my own room and while the girls on my hall had a great time doing fresher activities, I was struggling through my senior level courses and American culture shock. I don't remember much because I was either sleeping or studying. Not my finest moments.

Second, I lived in an apartment. I was going to get straight As that semester. My beloved non-perfectionist housemates were going to have fun. Nothing was ever clean, I did most grocery shopping, we have people over till 3am three nights a week. I chilled out, I had fun, I made it work, and I got my only B that semester.

Third, I lived in an co-ed "intentional community" with nine other people. My mother called it a commune which is a fair assessment...except that we were good Mennonite kids (except one Catholic) so nothing sketchy went down...not including some sketchy meals. That was the hardest semester academically, but it was almost the most fun; watching Winter Olympics, group dinners, board games, lots and lots of guests, and getting to know people very different from myself.

Fourth, I lived in another group house with 13 other people in Washington DC. I should say I ate and slept at that house. I was rarely there between my 30-hour-per-week internship, my beloved road bikes and friends in the city. It wasn't a bad semester, but 14 people is a lot, especially when unlike my previous house, people had vastly different living standards and preferences. So...when in stress...leave....it works.

I found common themes in all my living situations worth remembering because...well...the sky is the limit and who knows who I'll be living next. First, you have to decide what's most important. The dishes washed, the trash taken out, the bathroom cleaned, the floors swept, the compost composted...it's all important but even when the chores are delegated, they don't all get done and you can't do them all. So I picked what matter most to me, and I did it myself. The same applies with housemate behavior, and you make your mental list of non-negotables as small as possible to preserve your sanity. And this is coming from a borderline OCD clean freak.

Second, you have to label your food. Enough said, enough sad corresponding stories.

Third, if you don't feel comfortable, leave. My mini-communities only lasted a semester and when I didn't feel comfortable, I would visit friends or find other places to study. If some of these situations had lasted longer then three months, I would have had to leave. You decide each time if it's worth building bridges, burning bridges...or ignoring bridges.

Fourth, diversity has mixed value. It seems like a fine, noble and progressive idea and we all hope to have diverse friends. Yet it doesn't always work in housing community. It's better to live with people similar to you; similar values, similar hygiene preferences, and similar sleeping hours. It just makes things so much less stressful, and then invite the diverse people over.

Community is kind of a vague term. I did find it. And when I found it, it was glorious. When I didn't...well...you learn to find joy elsewhere.

This Post is for Darrell

I've lived a very fortunate existence. None of my close friends ever passed away. A childhood friend who I'd grown distant from passed away on my 18th birthday, but my existence has been free from the grief of death. None of my close family ever passed away either. For all my life travels, for all our crazy homes, for all the summers coming back to the States (and not coming back for the other 10 months), and for all our rather dangerous vacations, my family sort of stugs sadly and say, "well, at least no one died."

Sadly though, my family has come to deal with death. On 14 August 2010, my Uncle Darrell Hercyk passed away in his sleep from what appears to be sleep apnea. He was 51 years old, living in St George Utah with his wife Julie, and 8-year-old daughter Jessie, working for SkyWest. Darrell still holds many athletic records at Haverling High School in Bath NY, he was an artist deeply inspired by both Dutch Renaissance painting and the Native American art of the Utah West.

Darrell lived in Utah over 15 years so we didn't see him much, though we received many pictures of my cousin Jessie who looks just like him. I feel we might have been better friends because he went through a serious biking phase in his mid-20s before an old lady yanked out of her driveway while he was flying down a rural road, effectively landing him in the hospital and ending his extreme sports days. It was a long time ago though, and Darrell had moved onto family life, minus the mini-van. My family was looking forward his next visit to New York in early-September for another family wedding. It's a difficult time for everyone, and I suppose we're all still in shock as we wrap our minds around the sudden tragedy. "One minute they're there, and the next they're gone." I'd heard this phrase a thousand times. But suddenly it became real, and that's tragic.

So this post is for Darrell, because he made our lives better, and because without him, my family just isn't the same.

How to Love Biking



My Beloved Bike and I went to NYC

Before I bid my 2009-2010 sojourn in the States adieu, I must pay homage to the most influential element of my life. I've spent time in reflection the past few months on memorable experiences here in the States. I met awesome people. I had three great internships. I went to concerts and American cities. I played in snow and golden fall leaves. I loved my Stateside family. I discovered truly good food. I found a religious community with values similar to my own. I even met someone who tolerates my protrusive bubbly global nomad. But what I'll remember most is unquestionably the magic of biking.

2009 and 2010 were dedicated to biking. Anyone who knows this global nomad knows that. Ironically, biking is a departure from my overseas life which was centered in nations where biking although sometimes common was always unsafe and unrealistic. Yet I decided that after my first semester at uni in 2009 that I should obtain a bike in order to reduce commute times around campus. So my aunt gave me a bike her sister-in-law obtained in a raffle in the early 1980s. Somewhere between biking through the rain between my aunt's home in Linville back to uni five miles away (my first bike ride in four years) I knew there was something special about biking. It was love at first ride. 



The original bike that started everything



Transport: People don't use the bike the way the bike is meant to be used. It's a form of transport. It moves you from one destination to another. You can strap a basket on the front or back...or a messenger or a backpack. My bike advocacy friends in Harrisonburg and Washington DC and others like them all across America are promoting biking as an alternative form of clean renewable energy and transport. I embraced it and the freedom that comes with it. Everyone should embrace it. And I lived in a very hilly city as well.



Exercise: I did not have time to exercise much at uni as I was an overachieving student. But I did have to get to the grocery store, and I had to drink coffee every Saturday morning, and I had to get to the bank...so I biked there. On weekends, long rides were in order with one earbud listening to David Crowder Band. Biking is exercise commitment. You can run out and walk back, but you can't bike 20 miles and then walk home. Or you could but it's a real pain.

Happiness: Biking makes me happy. I physically feel good. I feel good about myself. I feel liberated from Pakistani headcoverings, American consumerism and bad Kenyan driving. There's something comforting about two wheels under you, watching the pedals move in smooth constant circles, feeling like you're moving fast but still feeling like the world is at your finger tips. 

Bike advocacy in Harrisonburg VA: Feb 2010





I hope my biking stage hasn't ended. If anything, the beloved Fuji Newest 3.0 I purchased downtown Washington DC this past summer is currently hanging in my parent's garage in Bath New York, awaiting my return. It's not over. I predict that it's only begun. I can't drive a car yet with very little effort, my life is full of transport and travel; bikes, planes, trains, metros, buses and faithful feet. Sometimes things surprise you. Things you don't expect become the most memorable aspects of your life. So the next time you see someone on a bike, think alternatively. Think of me.

How to Experience "Summer Obsessions"

The article below is titled "Summer Obsessions" and was written for Third Way Cafe as part of my summer internship. Maybe it could cross over to my own dear blog.

"My summer has been filled to overflowing in Washington, DC, and marked by several highlights. For a section of the summer, my biggest obsession was undoubtedly football … I mean soccer … I mean World Cup. I love everything about World Cup. I love—for better or for worse—that Africa finally hosted one of the biggest tournaments in the world. I love the hype, the excitement, the crazy fans, the spectacular stories, the drama of red cards, the killer penalty shots, and the joy of players and fans when their dreams come to fruition. World Cup was glorious. World Cup had the world falling before their television sets.

"And then there’s my other obsession. My summer has also been filled with politics and advocacy, interning at the MCC Washington Office. I’ve been engrossed in understanding the world of politics, working groups, Hill visits and research on multiple domestic issues. I love the fast pace, the dedication and passion of the faith-based community, the collaboration of faith-based and church advocacy groups, the constant flow of coffee and unquestionably the people I’ve had the pleasure of working with at the office.

"My two summer obsessions bring to light many of my Mennonite values. Soccer is often called “the beautiful game.” It‘s beautiful to watch the teamwork and collaboration involved and the higher the stakes, the more collaboration and community is formed.

"It’s difficult to call advocacy beautiful like soccer. In general, politics offend my Mennonite sensitivities, which constantly crave collaboration. Yet advocacy brings other Mennonite values to fruition—justice and peace for all—requiring me to value it. Advocacy—like soccer—doesn’t ever end. There’s always more work, more training, and more advocating. Watching people working with constant and undying dedication to justice puts me to shame. I’ve witnessed collaboration and compromise watching churches and faith-based groups work together, which gives me hope that civility exists in the political world.

"My inner Mennonite is acutely aware that both advocacy and soccer can divide people. Yet, at the end of the World Cup final (and all 13 yellow cards) I’m still friends with Spanish fans even if I was passionately cheering on Holland. At the end of the day, in advocacy, we can all agree that we’re trying to make the world a better place even if we differ on the execution of that goal. I love the exuberant outcome at the end of a soccer game and I love the common interests and values we can find in advocacy.

"Perhaps World Cup can teach us acceptance, forgiveness, and how to let a game be a game. Perhaps advocacy can teach us patience, perseverance, compromise, acting out our faith. There are so many lessons to be found in ordinary and extraordinary places, even in our summer obsessions."

How I met Amazing People at College

Now that I'm on the other end of college, I've spent some recent time reflecting on the experience. I invested three years of my life--virtually 24/7--into a piece of paper and an education. I got a mixed bag of returns. The culture shock returning to the States was horrifying. My peacebuilding education was phenomenal. Yet much of what stands out now are amazing people I met who changed my life for the better, who saw the best in met, and who inspired me.

Gloria: Gloria was my academic advisor in the Applied Soci department, and is one of the most amazing people I've ever met. She saw my interests and helped my with classes and projects which fostered these. I wouldn't be in peacebuilding if it wasn't for Gloria, and I wouldn't have graduated if it hasn't been for Gloria or feel understood at EMU.

Terry: Terry is the strangest prof known to man. We'd write down his outrageous comments in our notebooks, such as "terrorism is like porno, you know it when you see it." But Terry understands social movements and international development and he shared his massive practical and academic knowledge in all five classes I took with him. I would not love Mennonite community development if it wasn't for Terry.

Nancy: I never had a class with Nancy but I'm sure I would have loved it. Nancy was my mentor for a peace speech I did and she helped me develop my thoughts into a solid piece. But Nancy is memorable because she's traveled around the world. She's strong, intelligent and humble, even after her promotion as dean of EMU. I aspire to be like Nancy one day.

Sarah: Sarah saved EMU for me. She's the sweetest, thoughtful, sincere, and utterly humble Mennonite farm girl from Idaho turned peacebuilder. She transferred in mid-year, mid-semester like me and listened to me process through all my culture shock. Sarah inspires me to love building peace as much as she does, and that local food and farming is ultimately superior.

Lorraine: Lorraine also save my sanity. The aunt of church members in New York, Lorraine adopted me and saved my soul from disparity. Lorraine took me to church and then back to her home in the Virginia countryside where she would use her professional chef skills for a beautiful lunch. I stayed with her on holidays and I made her home my home. I love Lorraine immensely.

Kaylee: Kaylee was my sounding wall. A non-Mennonite transfer peacebuilding student, we bonded in "History and Philosophy of Nonviolence" and have been inseparable ever since. Together we figured out EMU, and together we survived happily. She became a fixture in my life. Along with Sarah, we constructed the transfer trio, a force of kindness and silent thoughtfulness.

Jakob: I would have never composted before I met Jakob. But when you live in the same house with EMU's composting point-man, well, at the end of the semester I started taking out the compost myself. Jakob helped me rethink sustainability beyond a fad to a lifestyle...and I took back my comments about people from Goshen Indiana.

Mark: Mark was a photography major with three or four minors. I didn't think we'd be friends because our vast political differences but my co-ed house led to some interesting friendships. I learned that respect and civility can cross many differences and lead to good discussions, and that photography is indeed a beautiful art.

Kari: My dear Kari was an art major. All through the spring semester, I watched her paint her senior show in her bedroom, three massively large pieces. Kari's energy is infectious and her joy for art is contagious. I watched that senior show come together and Kari's journey with it, and I saw myself and my own life story. And then we have such a beautiful friendship.

Jon: Jon shouldn't be at the end of this list. Some people think finding a significant other is a mandate of uni attendance. I don't think so, but meeting a precise and thoughtful bio-chem major who appreciates my TCK-ness, makes me very happy. And I can say he's inspired me to appreciate different types of music.

The list could go on...as I write, more people come to mind who have blessed my life and the people I will miss as I venture into the future. And then the benefits of uni instantly seem so much higher.

How I'm going back to Asia

I’ve picked on people who graduated college and had jobs waiting for them. Basically, I’m grossly envious. I told myself, "the world just doesn't work like that anymore. I'm a new generation that graduates unmarried, unattached and unemployed." Yeah...well that was funny of me...but the point stands. I won't have that diploma till August...but I'm employed...and I'm dating...and I can't stop laughing because apparently it's true that God does have a sense of humor.

I was drowning in so much work second semester senior year I had no time whatsoever to thoughts of "post-college life." So I decided to simply graduate (or walk rather) and figure it out later. I’ve spent the summer in DC working for Mennonite Central Committee Washington Office on domestic policy issues. I needed a practicum to fully get that diploma which will be mine in August. I looked around DC and decided that politics and advocacy are just too brutal for my taste. I dislike what divides people, I dislike bashing politicians we don't like and dislike the inaction in general.

MCC was my first choice for future jobs for many reasons; they’re a small grassroots organization, they work at the community level, they’re well respected (even adored) in the peacebuilding world, and they’re faith-based ie. Menno-based. I was more then happy when they expressed interest in my application for a position in Phnom Penh Cambodia. I didn’t think it would actually go through, but it did, rather quickly, and they offered it to me. It’s a three-year voluntary service worker position working with a local non-governmental organization working with families and family systems to promote peace and nonviolence; mediation, facilitation, trauma healing, international development, and qualitative research…all things I adore and one day, I'll maybe even be an expert.

So...NY with family and friends until mid-October when I’ll be down in Akron PA for orientation and I’ll be in Phnom Penh just in time for my 22 birthday early November. Gosh, I am young.

Perhaps I’m most amazed because I get to do exactly what I want to be doing; peacebuilding from the bottom up overseas with funny food, foreign cultures and Menno values (not to mention complete legitimacy in the Mennonite world...which is kind of important...don't ask me why). It’s the right time and I’m increasingly confident it’s the right place. I continue to be absolutely amazed how everything is completely falling into place…and when that happens, you just know good plans, wonderful lessons, and beautiful faces are in store. I'm still processing the knowledge that I won't see so many beautiful people I cherish which is a difficult adjustment. Yet my plan is to return for grad school at the end of my term. And three years...it's not that long when I consider how upon my return I'll still qualify for my parents health insurance coverage under the new health care reform. I am pretty young.

How DC Stacks Up: 2nd Edition

I ended up in Washington DC, again. I knew it was going to happen, and I typically prefer to avoid repeats in living situations, but I'm back in DC. I'm doing an internship (again), taking metro (again), exploring DC's finer arts (again), and taking two classes (unfortunately). Part of attending EMU requires students to do a "cross cultural" and because my life wasn't cross cultural enough, I'm in the Washington Community Scholars Center program killing time, money, summer and final requirements.

Being back in the city a second time brings back thoughts from last summer, it's also leading to some to some new adventures. But when the old and the new collide, it gives rise to some interesting and significant thoughts...at least that's what I think.

1) Politics Reign. Last summer I was in NGO world. This summer, I'm in advocacy world. I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it either. I'm working on education on policy issues which is brilliantly informative, yet I'm in the world of cutthroat partisan politics, and I dislike that. The Hill is a place of power, so there's power in understanding it and learning to play the game.

2) Race Reigns. I noticed race relations when I was in DC last summer, but this summer we're studying it intensively. It's confusing and perplexing to see institutional injustice happening right before my eyes. Images of racist Zimbabwe and Barack Obama's post-racial statements come to mind. What sort of world do we live in?

3) Gentrification Reigns. I didn't realize it last summer but DC is undergoing widespread and radical gentrification, perhaps most noticeably on H St and in Columbia Heights. I didn't notice it last summer because I didn't understand it. Now I realize exactly how much gentrification affects a community both negatively and positively, for whatever it's worth.

4) Heat Reigns. Call it climate change, call it insanity, but DC is so hot this summer. Last summer was unusually mild. This summer is awful. End of story.

5) Bikes Reign. I'm writing a research paper on cycling in DC. I have my beloved new black and red Fuji 2.0 with me. I realized just how popular cycling is becoming, especially as a cheap, healthy, and sustainable form of transport. DC had over 60 miles of bike lanes, tracks and paths and I'm embracing them.

6) Coffee Rules Supreme. I didn't drink much coffee last summer. I went to museums and spent time in solitude. This time, friends in tow, I hit coffee shops...repeatedly...and not Starbucks. It helps when you know people who love finding coffee shops and probably love your reaction...I mean...my reaction to a great cup of coffee is pretty enthusiastic. There's Tryst in Adams Morgan, Ebeneser's at Union, Kramerbooks & Afterwords at Dupont, and Leopolds in Georgetown. Coffee made the summer.