When moving to any new place, it takes adjustment to grasp the social protocol for addressing people. First name basis? Last name basis? The intricacies of Miss and Ms., brother, sister? I wish I had more closely documented this phenomenon when I lived in other places, but then again, I never recall it being as complex as it is in Cambodia.
I've noticed that it's fairly rare to use someone's name when addressing them. I haven't found a convincing explanation for this. Instead, we use a complicated system of addressing each other based on each other's age relative to yours. You don't call Sue, "Sue," but maybe Bong or Ming, or Om. In a hierarchical culture, addressing other with the correct respectful term is important. It seems to effortless for Cambodians. For many foreigners when slapped with this system, it's slightly overwhelming. However, you too can get the hang of it and as a foreigner, your mistakes are more comical than offensive.
I've noticed that it's fairly rare to use someone's name when addressing them. I haven't found a convincing explanation for this. Instead, we use a complicated system of addressing each other based on each other's age relative to yours. You don't call Sue, "Sue," but maybe Bong or Ming, or Om. In a hierarchical culture, addressing other with the correct respectful term is important. It seems to effortless for Cambodians. For many foreigners when slapped with this system, it's slightly overwhelming. However, you too can get the hang of it and as a foreigner, your mistakes are more comical than offensive.
- PaOWN: This gender-neutral term is used to address children. If you see a child, call them this. Can be shortened to "own."
- Bong: Use this with your contemporaries and it's considered gender neutral. Supposedly from women to men it's a term of endearment, but have observed otherwise. You can call the gas station attendant or you waiter/waitress bong. If you are close with someone even when a five/seven year age gap, you would probably go with this term.
- Ming: Woman "auntie" between 30-50ish? If you think you are younger than the woman, then go with this term.
- Ome: Older auntie, as in your mother's contemporary. If I recall correctly, it's a term of endearment from a man to his wife (I don't know of one going the other way).
- Puu: Uncle, for all men who are older than you and younger than your grandfather. At my partner organization, we call the director this term for additional respect.
- Taa: Grandfather. Obvious.
- YeyYey: Grandmother. Thankfully, also obvious.
- Lookru: Respected male elder. When you want to be extra respectful, you go with this term instead of Puu or Taa.
When translating these terms into English, my colleagues most often go with "brother" or "sister" which is interesting because those are two terms I don't think are used otherwise. However, it's source of personal joy when I'm called "Bong Grace" by my colleagues. It means I'm one of the guys.
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