I made a decision towards the beginning of the summer. A commitment. A choice. A willful obligation though I shuddered and whinged internally. I am going to make it through uni.
This was not at all an easy decision. Obviously, living in Southern Virginia with a slew of white people between the ages of 18 and 22 committed to recycling and late night dumpster diving, is hardly my first choice. Like any true global nomad, I have no idea where I want to be...but it has to be...outrageous...in a bizarre global nomad sense. I need to live a life sustaining pleasant personal diversions and dangerously exciting vacations. It's simply part of being a global nomad...it's hard to explain it any other way.
Today I moved into my dorm, bidding farewell to my wonderful summer and committing myself to social death. I contemplated the significance of facing my fears and coming back to uni. It's a lot like moving to a new country so I should be able to handle it better but it's still difficult. These people look like me, they have the same mother-tongue as me and they eat the same food and celebrate the same holidays...but it's not easy.
For me, finishing uni is a commitment to making good choices. It means overcoming homesickness for my family who currently live in Sudan who can't make it back for my graduation. It means learning to make the most of the moment while realizing that I did pick the school for the academics and that comes first. It means putting things in boxes and removing other things from mental boxes as it relates to my global nomadic understandings of life. It means learning when to speak up and when to silently affect change in my own way. There are always lessons to learn.
This is my final year of undergrad. I've only got a year left. I've no idea where I'll be this time next year; terrifying...thrilling...I need coffee to help me calm down. So...here's to the future! School has come back around.
No comments:
Post a Comment